


Born To Be Yours

by tommXX



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Armitage Hux, Multi, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Top Kylo Ren, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-19 16:25:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17005077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommXX/pseuds/tommXX
Summary: "careful, General.I can hear, all your thoughts."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: self-harm

_A beautiful boy-!_

Hux splays both of his hands on the table in front of him and presses his palms against its surface. He uses enough strength to hear as the table creaks but never breaks. The glass of whiskey is placed right next to his left hand and until now, it remained untouched. He is not particularly fond of the bitter taste of alcohol but he likes the feeling that comes after; the heat spreading down his neck and chest and finally pooling in the pit of his stomach.

_Armie? Armie-?_

He clears his mind and takes a sip of his drink. Hux hopes that no one will notice the shaking of his hands when he returns them back on the table and then, after a second thought, he lowers them down and places them on his thighs. The people surrounding him are at least a decade older than him. His eyes wander the faces of greying, old men with wrinkles surrounding their lips and eyes and fat fingers holding the glasses filled with drinks. And after each drink, the volume of their conversations raises. 

Hux's eyes sting. He is no longer sure if the reason is the lack of sleep or the cigarette smoke sharply filling the room. He takes the packet of cigarettes of his own and is quick to put one between his already parted lips. He lights it up and inhales smoke and holds it in long enough to feel as it burns insides of his mouth and the tip of his tongue. Then he breathes it out and relaxes his muscles. 

Hux has no desire to approach any of the people surrounding him. The elders liked his father, but they carry no love for Brendol's son. Over the years, Hux came to remember their faces. He remembers them all and knows why they hate him. If he started to point his finger, he would have to admit that he defeated each and one of them. And despite the victory should taste sweet, this one brings him no further satisfaction so he drowns the emptiness in the cigarette smoke like the others do. 

It's a dangerous habit; to put the cigarette in-between his lips is just the same as to order to be murdered slowly. Hux likes to imagine he was power over the cigarette -  _now in and then out. I could let it fall and die on the ground. Stand on it, break it under my boots._ But if the cigarette could speak and hold the knife, he knows it would smirk and wish him a good fortune. It's like putting drops of poison into someone's drink with the single difference that only he himself is holding both the drink and the poison in his hands. 

By the time he is done with the cigarette, the voices lower down. Hux finishes the rest of his drink and stands up with a sigh. He brushes the cigarette ash from the table with the back of his gloved hand and reaches for his greatcoat when it occurs to him that he left it in his quarters before he came here. There's no one to say goodbye to. Opan bows his head when his eyes meet with Hux's stare and a small smile crosses his lips. He raises his glass up in the air and though his lips don't move, Hux knows he is asking a question.  He declines the man's offer but the heat pools in his stomach when he thinks about Opan's body pressed against his own. On his way out, Hux cannot stop thinking about those warm hands touching his cold skin.

The corridors are empty at this time but not silent. Hux can hear the quiet humming of the ship under his feet and loses himself the rhythmic sound of  _the Finalizer's_  engines. Those few Stormtroopers he meets salute him but their expressionless masks make him feel even more lonely than he's been before. Just before he reaches his quarters, he thinks of returning back or sending Opan a message that he's changed his mind. He declines such thoughts out of pride and enters the empty quarters with a sinking heart growing heavy inside of his chest. 

He strips off his clothes slowly, his fingers are frozen and his skin is cold. He wonders if he should leave the underwear on and in the end he does. Hux does not find the feeling of being completely bare comforting. He likes to cover up the slenderness of his body by the shadows and the paleness of his skin by thick uniforms and greatcoats. Hux thinks about pouring himself another drink but rejects this idea as he continues moving in the direction of the fresher. His bare feet tap against the floor. 

_Little boys are always kind and then they grow into men that are monsters._

He stops walking abruptly and turns his head to the side. His eyes meet with another pair, also blue like a melting ice and his heart jumps into his throat. For a moment he lets himself believe that it's her but then he notices the rest of the features and realizes that he is indeed staring at himself in the mirror. Hux raises his hand and touches the cold glass. It feels like it's melting under his touch. He frowns as if in disgust and turns on his heel. His cheeks grow red in anger and his skin pricks. He is not cold anymore but uncomfortably hot when he falls in the sheets and covers himself up. Hux slowly breathes in and out and reaches for the DataPad resting on his night table. He checks his messages. There's only one that catches his attention and Hux hesitates before he presses his finger against the glowing screen.

Ren's messages are always rare and short, sharp and emotionless. Of all messages Hux's ever received, Ren's feel the most like a rejection. He reads it once and then rereads it again before he sneers and throws his DataPad away. 

_Meet me in my quarters. We need to discuss my mission. - Kylo Ren_

It's not a request or a proposition. It's a command as if Ren still refused to acknowledge that he and Hux are now sharing not just the command over the ship but also their rank. Hux thinks about ignoring him and never showing up but he would then sink to the same level as Ren with his childish behavior and that's something Hux would prefer to avoid. But the thought of Ren, with his muscular body and anger issues, stirs something inside of him. He imagines the dark Knight looming in his doorstep. Holding Hux's tender wrists and pushing him against the sheets. The fantasy leaves him vulnerable and desperately hard. Hux wants to pull down his briefs and touch himself to find relief but the relief usually comes hand in hand with shame and Hux doesn't think he can bear just another night ending with the come pooling between his thighs and shame filling his guts and tearing through his flesh.

Hux angrily fishes his sheets. _I think that more people die from loneliness_ , he says to himself and almost without thinking, he reaches on the other side of the bed, hoping to brush a warm skin and connect his fingers with someone else's hair. There is nothing, though, just an empty air. Hux huffs under his breath and rolls out of the bed. He walks towards his jacket and takes out a packet of cigarettes. He hungrily inhales the smoke once he lightens one up and stares at the burning tip. Then, almost as if without thinking, he presses it against his forearm and hisses once the heat starts to burn through his skin like it is just a sheet of paper.

  ━━   x  ━━ 

_In his dream, the traitor's hand moved up and down his body. Hux could feel warm breath tickling his skin. His hands were tied behind his back by a black rope and his legs were spread wide. He was naked and the sheets were uncomfortably cold under his back. "Are you afraid, General?" the man asked and his lips brushed Hux's earlobe._

_Hux tried to kick him with his leg and the man patted it away. "You really aren't," he hummed under his breath and finally managed to wrap his fingers around Hux's filling cock. Hux looked at him and tried to memorize his face. He had black eyes and a small smile playing on the sides of his lips. Ren, it occurred to Hux at that moment. His features were a bit blurry. He kissed the side of Hux's neck and bite into his collarbone._

_"Do you want me to continue?" Hux didn't react at first. He didn't realize that Ren asked him a question until he felt as the fingers started to move down his inner thighs and Ren soon hoisted Hux's legs over his shoulders. He kissed the side of Hux's ankle and then stopped moving altogether._

_"General," he asked grinning and Hux soundlessly blinked._

_"Go on," he commanded in a hoarse voice and tried to wriggle his hips but Ren's hold was just too strong. The Knight made a low sound in the back of his throat and finally, the first finger breached Hux's rim. Hux's body tensed and he hissed._

_"Untie me," he growled._

_Ren just shook his head. "Poor little General," he murmured and his finger disappeared. Hux looked at him with anticipation. And then he froze when he saw the silver cutting the air and a cold blade was pressed against the column of his neck. "You really thought that someone does care." Ren grinned and pressed the blade tighter against Hux's throat until it cut into the skin. "Pathetic."_

  ━━ x ━━   

He wakes up shaking and soaked in his own sweat. He reaches to touch his throat but doesn't relax when he sees no blood on the tips of his fingers. Instead, Hux looks around and sees that he's still holding the cigarette in his hand. It's still warm and the ashes dirtied his briefs. His stomach turns upside down. His cock is no longer hard. And his chest is rapidly rising and falling. 

Hux practically runs when he crosses the room while looking for the DataPad and only stops once he starts coughing. His body shakes and he wonders if this is a panic attack or just the reaction to too much smoke. He ends up curled in his bed, shielded from by cold only a set of black sheets that are too thin to keep him any warmer. As much as he wishes to be all alone, he also wants someone's presence. 

He is touch-starved and Hux knows it very well. He cannot remember what it feels like to be touched by someone without the intention of hurt. Opan was the last one but even then Hux didn't let himself to reach for his touch any more than necessary at the time. He does not like to be vulnerable at his allies' hands and the risk of this simple gesture of kindness being used against him is too high. He smokes and he drinks and imagines things that aren't there just to get rid of the feeling that he is not wasting away. Sometimes, he's not even sure if he wants this war to come to an end - or maybe he simply doesn't wish to survive it. Despite the odds, he knows that there's no life waiting for him out there. During some nights, he thinks that the next day will be his last. And when it isn't, he finds himself asking: when then? 

He finds another message on the DataPad from Ren, this time more urgent. He can feel the anger with which Ren reacts to his silence and feels as satisfaction spreads across his chest. It's just a small victory and it won't last for long but Hux likes the idea that he managed to earn it. He reads the message and answers this time. The game of cat and mouse is effective but not for long. He isn't in the mood for Ren to come to him this early in the morning, banging on his door and demand immediate attention. As a tactician, Hux knows when it's time to take a step back and negotiate.

He quickly cleans himself in the fresher and puts on a new clean uniform. This time, he makes sure to avoid looking directly into the mirror. He fears he will see her once again and it's more than he can bear. In the end, he puts on his boots and before he leaves, he puts a cigarette between his lips. He doesn't light it up this time, just lets it rest there. He'll light it up later, in the silence of his office. For now, he has to hurry because Ren doesn't like to wait.

Hux grabs his gloves with an intention to put them on.

And then-

-he freezes.

He notices the dried blood behind his nails, once red but now turning brown and the gloves fall on the ground. He gulps and hurries back to the fresher, trying to wash the blood away but it doesn't go anywhere. He brushes his hands until they turn red and his skin is sensitive to any kind of touch. Hux sighs then and buried his fingers in his hair. He waits for a moment and then he straightens himself. He puts on the gloves, trying to cover up the blood.

It couldn't be washed away.

And he doesn't wish to stare at it all day. 

_Whose blood is it?_

-it's not mine.

Hux opens the doors and hurries outside. His breathing quickens.

-it's theirs.

His DataPad makes a low buzzing sound and he slows down his pace. He turns on his heel and heads in the direction of Ren's quarters just like he was asked to, all while typing Mitaka a short message, saying that he won't be present at the morning meeting. 

He knocks on Ren's doors, knowing that the Knight already knows he's there and waits in an empty corridor. The door opens with a silent click and soon Ren's figure appears. He is scowling. His eyes are narrowed and his lips are pressed into a thin line.

"General," he says coldly, practically spits it out.

Hux says nothing, only quietly waits for Ren to let him inside. That's when the voice speaks to him once more.

It says:  _They all are dead._

And then it remains silent.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He was looking but not in the way the other man was looking at him.

I see no point in negotiating with a man such like him."

-such as you are.

Hux stiffens when Ren walks by him and his shoulder brushes Hux's arm. He doesn't notice it or doesn't pay it attention. Instead, he places his hands on the smooth table close to his bed and stares down at the papers Hux delivered him a few days prior. He seems like he's hardly containing his anger. Whenever his fingers twitch, Hux's stomach sinks lower and lower.

-the pair of eyes, he's seen it before. He's seen the fire burning within. Hux sees his eyes and his twitching fingers and the blood on the floor, creating puddles under his boots.

"Hux!" Hux raises his head and sees that Ren is watching him. The Knight's lips are pressed into a thin line in annoyance. He seems to be eager to continue but at the same time, he doesn't really want to. Ren crosses the room and stops walking when he is standing right in front of the General, so close that their chests are practically brushing. He raises his hand, to touch Hux's face perhaps but Hux dodges and Ren's hand remains hanging in the air. The Knight blinks and then a smirk spreads across his lips.

"You are afraid," he notes with amusement mirroring in his voice.

Hux scowls.

-the fingers in black gloves suddenly wrap around his neck. They press against his pulse and hold it long enough for Hux to start to panic. He feels the other man's presence inside his mind. It's not exactly torture but it kind of is.

"You don't need to," Ren assures him quietly and his dark eyes are sparkling. It's not that comforting as it's meant to be. Ren leans closer and Hux forgets how to properly breathe. Ren's lips brush his earlobe. "You don't need to be so terrified of me, General."

Hux pushes him away. His hands collide with Ren's chest and the Knight is forced to take a step back. He looks shocked at first but then he starts to laugh. The lines of his face relax and his hands wrap around his middle. "Stop it," Hux commands and his voice is high pitching. "STOP IT NOW, REN!"

He is shaking though he doesn't want to admit it. "You almost killed me," he hisses and tugs at his jacket until the bruises are revealed.

-he touched them immediately after they appeared, blue and purple and black. He touched them and h touched his cock, achingly hard in his pants and he jerked himself off until were his hands covered by sticky come and he felt as shame filled his guts. He showered then and let the water to wash away the lasts proofs of his thoughts and stared as the come stopped covering his palms.

"You thought about it," Ren smirks. Hux doesn't move. Doesn't blink. He doesn't even flinch when Ren's hands brush the front of his pants. And then he slaps Ren hard. He watches as the skin of Ren's cheek turns red. The Knight jumps back and this time, there is no trace of mockery in his face. He looks shocked, surprised. But not afraid. Hux clenches his teeth in anger. No one's ever been afraid of him. Not even his father when he stood above him with a blaster pointed at his head.

_No one is afraid if the Death comes from your hands, boy._

"I am not your slut," he growls. He is not a slut at all - he is desperate maybe but not once in his life he's used his body for any kind of gain. "And if you ever touch me again I will find a way to end you." He takes a step back and creates a bit of a distance between of them. He sees that Ren is confused at first. Then he lowers his hand. His smile disappears.

"You mean it," he whispers.

"Get out of my head," Hux shivers. Ren stands unmoving. His eyes are fixed at Hux's face like he's trying to determine something.  _Show me who you really are_ , Hux hears a silent voice inside of his head. He presses his lips into a thin line and balls his hands into fists. 

"You really mean it," Ren repeats and the smile is gone. "I thought you knew. I thought you were offering yourself." He stops speaking abruptly and his eyes narrow. "I saw it inside of your mind."

Hux doesn't mean to ask but the question slips his parted lips. "What did you see?" Ren cocks his head to the side in wonder before he continues speaking. He looks like a child, curious but at the same time, his eyes dangerously darken and once again Hux realizes that Ren is not innocent at all. He won't make the mistake of underestimating the man of his rank. 

"I saw your hand, sliding down," Ren smirks. "I saw your mouth open, moaning my name and your body shuttering as you came. And I saw you bent over your desk, your pants pulled down to your knees and your ass and bare. I saw a man holding your hands and pressing you down with every snap of his hips." He rolls his eyes. "You really did look like a whore."

Hux's cheeks flush. "What is inside of my mind is not business of yours," he says, humiliated already. Hux recalls that memory and feels the sting of tears in the corners of his eyes.  _Nothing ever belongs to you and only to you. Not in the position you are striking for - you should have known, little Armitage, that your dirty thoughts are not just yours and that someone is always watching you._

His throat tightens. Ren walks towards the desk and stares at the papers. "I bet the Supreme Leader would like to know," he shrugs. "His best General is influenced once a cock is pushed inside of his little ass." He laughs. "Have you fucked your way up here? Your Captains like to whisper. About a bastard who had to spread his legs to gain a position of such importance."

Hux ignores his taunting and mockery. "My Captains tend to speak too much without caring if the things are true or not," he says with sinking heart. His desperate need for Ren's touch now turns into icy disappointment. He already knows that once he'll get out of here, he'll send a short message to Opan.  "Have you at least considered my offer?" he nods to the papers on the desk. 

Ren snickers. "Which one?" he asks and then waves his hand in the air. "As I said before, I believe that there is no point in trying to negotiate with a man such like him." He leans against the desk and crosses his legs at the ankles. "Not that you would know but he will likely to take your deal and stab you in the back just a moment later when a better appears on the playing board."

Hux's shoulders tense. "Then I will have to make sure that there is no better one or no one to offer it." 

He thinks of the man they were talking about. Cassus Lai's eyes follow him much later, when he quietly retreats back to his quarters, holding the pile of papers in his shaking hands. His eyes are like Ren's, filled with darkness that lacks humanity. Hux's seen him only once before - dressed up in heavy robes made of silver and gold, staring at the dancers moving lightly in the moonlight. He looked like a boy, young and inexperienced. The lines of his face were smooth then, hair almost white.

One of the dancers sat on his lap and he tolerated her for a moment and then pushed her away roughly by grabbing her by her arm and throwing her on the floor. It was said that she kept begging that night when his men took her one by one on his command and that in the morning, her thighs were covered by blood and come and she had not spoken ever since. 

Hux sends a quick message to Opan and sits into the chair in his room. He is no longer wearing his greatcoat and feels completely bared, though he is just sitting in his room, all alone. He pours himself a drink and let it burn its way down his throat. He sighs and closes his eyes. Ren refused his offer straight away from the beginning and Hux was well aware that without his approval, the Supreme Leader Snoke won't hear him out. 

The train of his thoughts is stopped once Opan comes inside and the door closes behind him soundly. He starts taking off his jacket and undershirt and unzips his pants. When he comes closer, Hux stands up and immediately, Opan's hands land on his hips. "You look so small, sir," Opan rasps.

"Does it make you hard?" Hux wonders out loudly and Opan leads his General's hand towards his groin. He lets Hux squeeze it and pants into his ear. 

"I believe so, sir," he mumbles and tilts Hux's head to the side. Then he starts kissing his neck, finds the spot just under his jaw and bits where. Hux yelps but doesn't push Opan away. He feels as the steam of blood drips down the side of his neck and mumbles something. Opan helps him to take off his jacket and shirt and pants until he stands all naked. 

He lets Opan do all the work, lets him lead in the direction of the bedroom, where he is then pushed into the sheets. Hux doesn't even realize he's shivering until he glances down at his hands and sees how much they shake. Opan is quiet all the time. He keeps kissing and nibbling, biting but never too hard, never leaves visible marks.  _You do not belong to him - he has no need to claim you._

"Do you like it?" Hux asks suddenly, breathily. He breaks the silence for the first time since they've started it.

Opan stops kissing him and rolls his neck to get a better look at Hux. "Sir?" he asks and his voice lowers down. There's confusion mirroring inside of his eyes and he is panting. His hardness presses against Hux's thigh.

"Do you enjoy fucking me?" Hux blushes once the words leave the cage of his lips. He doesn't move for the longest time, all while Opan seems to think. Then he moves away and sits on the edge of the bed. He cocks his head to the side and sends a quick glance in Hux's direction. He sighs. 

"I don't know what you want to hear, sir," he states and huffs, growing uncomfortable. He shifts and then stops moving altogether. 

Hux presses his lips into a thin line. He knows he's messed up but neither of them will say it aloud. His excitement turns into bitterness and he brings his knees towards his chest and reaches for the sheets to shield himself from Opan's prying eyes. "I believe that we both are tired," he speaks up and the lust inside of his veins stops burning this urgently. But the feeling remains, the uncomfortable weight of his cock between his legs. 

Opan's eyes widen. Then he stands up. "As you say, sir," he says and starts gathering pieces of his clothes and putting them on as quickly as he is able. "Goodnight," he says in the end but Hux only nods in the answer, already thinking of something else. The doors behind Opan close with a silent click and at the same time, Hux's hand slides between his legs. He squeezes his cock and holds it in a vicious grip. The tips of his fingers turn white from the pressure. Then he starts moving his hand up and down his shaft, with his movements getting faster and faster.

-long white fingers, touching him all at once at all the place of his bared body. The black eyes are observing him again, now that he is hiding in the plain sight.

There is absolutely no point in wishing for something he will never have. But the part of the appeal is the imagination of Ren's hands stroking his skin and touching his cheeks, brushing his hair and parting his legs. Sometimes, he wishes for his dreams to last forever. 

-Ren approaches his and presses his chest and Hux's back. His lips brush Hux's ear and the slide lower, where they kiss the bared skin of his neck. "You are mine," the Knight whispers and Hux knows he is shaking. Ren's hands support his weight. "You will always dream of me, my little bird."

Hux grasps and his body spams. When he glances down, he finds a sticky liquid covering his thighs and his stomach sinks. He makes a pitiful sound in the back of his throat and remains lying on the bed. He huffs in annoyance. Maybe Ren was right, after all, he is a depraved creature. 

That word Ren used crosses his mind. _Whore._  He knows another, very much similar to this one and it only brings him more shame.  _Slut._

He stands up and walks into the fresher. He has no energy to clean his whole body so he just cleans his hands and wipes off the come before he returns to the bed just in time to see the message popping on the screen of his DataPad. He frowns and looks at it and reads it quickly. Ren sounds less imposing this time. There is no must but Hux is no fool - the command is meant to be a command even without the little expressions to paint the picture. He stares at the message for a long time and then he turns off his DataPad. Ren's voice is still echoing inside his mind. 

_You thought about it._

Hux would rather not. He hates being lonely, but loneliness is both his shield and his poison. No one can really hurt you if you are holding the gun and Hux has no intention of turning it against himself and give someone the opportunity to pull the trigger. He curls into the sheets then and closes his eyes, trying to make himself fall asleep. 

When he gets lonely in the middle of the night, he turns on the other side, hoping he would find any kind of warm there. He does not. Hux bites the inner side of his cheek and buries his face into the pillows. He's already forgotten that he sent Opan away.


	3. Chapter 3

The nutrition bar sits heavily inside his stomach during the next morning's meeting. Hux sees as his hands shake and he hides them under the table. His middle finger keeps brushing the bones of his wrist. "I want this meeting to be over soon," he tells Mitaka after the break and stares at his DataPad. Another meeting with Kylo Ren shines right at the top of the list of his responsibilities. 

His anxiety only rises once the meeting comes to an end and Hux has absolutely no time to grow angry with the opened results when Ren steps inside of the room and Hux's Officers take his arrival as a sign to leave. Hux has barely enough time to grab the sleeve of Mitaka's uniform and order him to bring some more coffee before they all rush out of the opened door. Soon, they are left alone and the door lock with a silent click.

Ren takes off his mask.

His eyes cross the room even before his body this. This is all too familiar to Hux. The atmosphere is always the same. His posture stiffens more after Ren's hands land on his shoulders and those long fingers start to massage the tensed muscles. "You seem nervous to me," Ren draws out and it feels like scolding. He stands directly behind Hux so the General cannot see him unless he turns his head and they both know that Hux won't degrade himself further. 

"You're too early," Hux says and feels as his cheeks color red.

He feels as Ren shrugs. "The meeting was over for you anyway." Hux's stomach painfully clenches. 

"You were thinking."

"I was," Ren confirms. His hands stop moving altogether but his fingers still painfully dig into Hux's shoulders. He leans closer and his lips brush the shell of Hux's ear. "You are an interesting man."

"How so?"

"There's not much to find out about you," Ren says and his hands disappear. He comes to face Hux. "I requested your files a few weeks back."

Huc frowns. "And?"

"You are a perfect little soldier," Ren laughs tauntingly. "Except for your mother. No one knows her name. No one knows how she looked like."

Hux presses his lips into a thin line-

-and then bares his teeth like a feral dog, just about to bite his Master.

He does not like to think of ghosts. But he remembers how gentle her face was and how she braided her hair every morning and wrapped the braids around her head. Sometimes, when he comes out of the shower, he likes to pretend that her scent still lingers on his skin, even after all those years that passed. When he thinks of her, however, one of her eyes is missing. 

-Brendol shot her.

-he would not spare her beauty.

_Remember, boy, whores are not meant to be beautiful._

"There's a lot about your mother," Hux says instead. "She misses her son, you know. She writes those long speeches about hope." The words that come next are spit into Ren's face. "You are not worth her hope."

Hux feels Ren's anger before he sees it-

-a hand flying in the air.

-fingers curling around the front of his uniform.

-and lips opening up and-

-crushing against his own.

Hux grasps and tries to free himself but Ren's Force keeps his hand in place. There is nothing gentle about the kiss. It's about taking and leaving behind, breaking and tearing each other's clothes off. Hux has no idea how he finds himself lying on the table once it's all over, watching as Ren starts buckling his trousers. His limbs ache and seed drips out of him. Ren charmingly smiles, he looks relaxed for the first time.

His fingers tangle in Hux's messy hair and he brings him in for another wet kiss. "You seem less tense, General," he says when they part. His hand rests against Hux's bare stomach. Hux escapes his touch quickly and starts putting on his shirt. He glares at Ren's figure now leaning against the table and once he is done with dressing up, he reaches for his DataPad. 

"I do believe that his meeting is over," Ren says with a smile crossing his lips and puts on his mask to cover up his face. "Good luck," he says and this time is his voice rougher. He turns around and reaches the door without giving Hux a second glance. The General has only a little time to recover himself because Mitaka steps inside, holding a cup of coffee in both hands. 

"Sir," he says hesitantly when Hux's eyes fall on him. "I wasn't sure if I was allowed to disturb you while you were busy with Lord Ren." He puts the cup of coffee on the table and salutes. "Is there anything else you might need, sir?"

Hux waves him off. "Thank you," he says cooly and puts his jacket on, already aware that his cheeks are turning deep crimson red. "That will be all, Lieutenant." He grips the DataPad tighter. "Send Phasma in."

He seats himself on one of the empty seats when Phasma walks in and greets him with a simple nod of her head. Her fingers curls and uncurls and she hesitates but doesn't take her mask off. "General?"

"You've met Cassus Lai before."

Phasma shortly nods. "I did, sir," she says. "But Lord Ren-"

"Phasma," he reprimands her. "You served under him for a short period of time."

"Indeed I did, sir. He is young but he knows things. He understands that information is much valuable than the coin and that makes him a dangerous enemy. I wasn't aware that the High Command changed their mind about him though. It's like holding a grande and hoping it won't blow off while you hold it too close."

Hux closes his eyes in frustration. "They will relent in the end," he says loudly. "We need weak allies but they won't serve our cause completely. We need Starkiller and to have it, we need to win Cassus Lai over."

"May I speak freely, sir?" Phasma wonders.

"I didn't call you here to stand quietly."

Hux shifts. Ren's seed is still glued to the inner side of his thighs and is sliding down his legs. He wishes to shower and get rid of the smell of sex that clings on him like a second skin. He watches as Phasma takes off her helmet. 

_I do not want you to kill him_ , his own words run through his mind.  _I want you to betray him and make him weak before I will pull the trigger and take his miserable life._

_Are you with me or against me? Choose._

-the last time Phasma offered to give him a piece of her mind, he was staring at his father lying on the ground. He wanted to shoot through his head. Her hand on his shoulder stopped him. She made him step back. He was not meant to be a martyr.

Her eyes meet with his-

-blue with the breath of winter-

-and she speaks.

"You want the Starkiller. And you need Ren for that."

-you need to play Ren's little toy.

There is that word again.

_Whore._

_Slut._

_Just like your mother was, Armitage-!_

He nods. "I know," Hux says slowly. "And I know what I have to do." The semen on his thighs suddenly brings him no memory of pleasure but of shame and it pools deep inside of his stomach. Hux makes himself think of Starkiller and the planets that will be exploding in the distance soon. He imagines all that power-

-and he will be its Master.

-Master who tamed the beast.

Yet still, it makes him nervous just to think about it. The places where previously Ren bit him now burn under his jacket. He looks down at his hands and remembers how his nails dug into the Ren's back. Phasma tosses her head to the side and Hux's attention is back at her. "There's blood smeared across your lower lip, sir," she smirks and reaches for her helmet. Her short hair is falling into her face. Her eyes pierce him.

"Things got rough," he says and coughs. He gently tries to clean his lip with his fingers. The blood remains on his fingertips.

"I am not a fool, General," Phasma says as the last thing and stands up. "And working with you taught me that you aren't one either. Do not let one man change that. Especially a man like Ren."

"What does that mean?" Hux asks stubbornly.

Phasma, nearing towards the door, shrugs. "I know men like him, sir. They are meant to destroy. You can have everything you've ever wanted but not when you're impaled on his dick." She is gone before Hux can react and the door shuts behind her soundlessly. 

Hux slumps into his seat and drinks his coffee. He does not mind that the liquid is hot enough to burn his tongue and he does not flinch away from the pain. His stomach grumbles again and this time he feels nauseous. He checks the time. And then buries himself in paperwork. By the time he is done, his fingers ache and his stomach is empty. The coffee is cold but he doesn't drink it for the sake of the taste but for its ability to keep him awake. 

He stands up just then and puts on his coat, walks in the direction of his quarters. There he walks into the fresher and sheds his clothes, stares at the dried semed covering his thighs and belly. He washes off the come and once he is done, he remains standing in front of the mirror. His hair is dripping wet and the towel hangs on his hips like a blanket. He doesn't put on his uniform but a pair of pyjamas and with growling stomach walks into the bathroom.

Hux pours himself a glass of whiskey and sits in the ground, with the glass in one hand and DataPad in another. His fingers brush the screen and he wonders if it's the right thing to do, to send Ren another message about an urgent meeting. It's like inviting a wolf over and some part of Hux knows that once Ren walks in, there won't be a way back. 

The alcohol burns its way down his throat. He is still not drunk enough not to remember tonight. He thinks of Opan and suddenly wishes he was there. During the nights like this when his mind just won't shut up, he likes to be sent to sleep with a cock inside of him. In anger, Hux throws the glass against the wall and watches as it shatters and falls on the ground. The liquid soaks into the carpet. The air smells like whiskey. He himself smells like whiskey too.

He invites Ren over and while he waits for the Knight to answer, he thinks of the Academy and all of the girls who laughed at the boys who were too eager. He is eager too and desperate. He wonders if Ren knows how much he needs him-

-probably even more than Ren needs him.

Hux doesn't raise his head up when he hears the familiar sound of the opening door and the steps coming closer until they reach him. The man crunches in front of him and hums. "You look paler than usual."

Hux shrugs. "I was not sure if you would come."

"The Knight comes when the General calls."

Ren stands up and sits on the only empty chair in the room. He crosses his ankles. "I do hookups, Hux. I fuck people and then I leave."

Hux shakes his head. "Not this time," he insists. He tries to stand up but his legs shake too much. Ren narrows his eyes and leans closer.

"Why is that?" he wonders out loud. "Because I fucked the General? Please. I could fuck men like you every single day for the rest of my life. You are not that special. Except for the color of your hair. I never quite believed that you are ginger until I saw your dick." Ren laughs and licks his lips.

Hux rolls his eyes. "I need Cassus Lai," he says in the end and finally manages to stand up. He nears to Ren, triples and falls into his lap.

"You really are desperate."

"I NEED HIM!"

Ren holds his hands. "I know you do," he purrs. "But that comes with a price. Supreme Leader will never approve of that mission."

"Well," Hux grins. "Not without you by my side."

"You think I will do that for you? Don't be a fool. You have nothing to offer to me, Hux. Life is not fair sometimes and a man like you should know it. It's pity though. He brushes Hux's red hair all while humming under his breath. "You are good but I am better."

"You need me. Only I can destroy the Republic once and for all." Ren grins at that.

"Do we?" he asks bitterly. "You are smart but you are not the only smart man in this galaxy. You demand a high price for your services. No one likes a whore who is too used but too expensive."

"And that's what you want. A whore." Hux leans closer and whispers directly into Ren's ear. "I can play that part. But you need to feed me."

He looks at Ren and sees the wolfish grin that appears on his lips. "Well then," Ren says and pushes Hux off him. The General falls on his knees and Ren stands up. He unbuckles his belt and unzips his trousers. "Get to work."


	4. Chapter 4

He catches Hux's calf in one hand and uses the other to tap his knee. The movement spreads Hux's legs wider and Ren takes the chance and moves closer. His eyes are glittering in the darkness of his quarters.

Hux cocks his head to the side, imitating a curious child.

-what are you waiting for?

Ren smirks when he catches that thought and presses a light kiss against Hux's calf. He is still smiling when he pulls away. "Impatience suits you," he says, whispers it like a secret. His fingers are gentle as they explore Hux's body. It's hard to remember sometimes that they are not lovers. 

"What are we then?"

Hux scowls. 

Ren continues. "I fucked you once and I am about to do it again." His hand slips between Hux's legs and he brushes the bulge that appeared in his briefs. "And you want me to fuck you, you do." Hux makes a low sound in the back of his throat. He grits his teeth and his fingers wrap around Ren's forearms to keep him in place. 

"It doesn't matter how many times you'll fuck me," Hux growls when Ren gets close enough. "This is just a business."

Ren's eyes darken. Just then, he says Hux's name and the General freezes. His hands fall on the sheets. When he looks down, he sees long white fingers, shadows of scars cutting through his palms. 

Suddenly he is too aware of the details - his breath hitches, Ren's eyes are so brown that they seem black. He parts his lips, then sneers at Hux. There is that name again. Maybe it's just an echo or maybe Ren says it once again. 

"Hux."

And that does it. Something inside of him snaps - his bones breaks. Ren doesn't know what that name truly means. It's his father's property, marked by Brendol's rough hands and bruises and blood. 

_-Armitage-!_

That name belongs to a boy who died a long time ago. When Hux looks into the mirror, he sees his bones and his eyes and his face. But the boy is always quiet, always remains dead.

He watches as Ren tugs down his trousers and reaches behind him to find the lube. The next time he speaks, his voice turns commanding. "Take off your briefs," Ren says roughly and stands up from the bed. His dark hair is messily falling down on his shoulders. He dives two of his fingers inside of the bottle and covers them with lube. He doesn't speak, doesn't make a sound. 

Hux sits up slowly. His throat tightens as he pulls down his briefs and instead of lying on his back and spreading his legs, he brings them close to his chest and rests his chin atop his knees. "I did not expect you to come to me," Ren finally looks at him. "Are you really that desperate?" He throws the lube on the covers and comes closer. He seems to be thinking. 

Hux's cheeks redden in anger. "Can't you just fuck me already?" he screams. "It's never been like this before..." He stops talking abruptly and bares his teeth like a wounded animal. He is shaking all over. 

Ren shrugs. "I am not fucking you to give you any promotion, General. I am fucking you because I want to and because I like the way your ass clenches around me." He pauses. "Turn around." It is humiliating to face Ren's gluttony. Hux slowly moves, puts his head into pillows and closes his eyes. He folds his legs and presents himself. At first, nothing happens. Then he feels a soft touch. Ren's fingers spread his globes and a single digit enters him. 

"Fuck!" Ren mumbles. "You are just as tight as a virgin." He stops moving his fingers altogether. "Were you?" he asks. "Were you before I took you on that table?" He continues his probing. Hux bites his lip just to keep himself quiet. His legs start to shake.

"No," he shakes his head. "I fucked more than once, you know." But he can count on his fingers how many times he was kissed. He aches for it even now, as Ren takes out his fingers and enters him with his cock. Hux imagines a different situation and the hole inside of his chest opens up. He imagines hands - fingers caressing his sides and his thighs. He moans when Ren truly starts moving. 

There is nothing romantic about that. Ren grunts, takes a deep breath and then moans. His movements are not as rough as Hux expected them to be but it's not sugary lovemaking either. He buries his face in Hux's hair. He pulls out, presses in and repeats the process until he's on brink of coming. He warns Hux by pressing a quick kiss against his shoulderblade and then he pushed in. He doesn't pull out this time, instead lets his seed to fill Hux's insides. Neither of them speaks as they lie on the bed.

Ren's still inside of Hux. His fingers are tangled in Hux's hair. "You are crying." It's an observation. A silent whisper against Hux's ear that makes him realize that indeed he is crying. His shoulders are shaking and the tears flow freely inside of his mouth. 

"Hux?" Ren pulls out and rolls on his side. He makes Hux looks at him. 

-fool.

Then he stands up and rushes into the fresher. Hux is left staring at the place where he was just a moment ago. He is sweaty and his face is blotchy. When he raises his hands up, he sees the faint scars in the darkness, covering both his forearms. His lungs feel heavy inside of his chest and he wishes to have a cigarette to put inside of his mouth and keep the smoke clocked behind his lips. 

The night is over and now it's time to clean up. Hux shakily moves and wipes away his tears. He is a fool for missing the heat, for missing Ren and his dark eyes and soft fingers. The business is done and the payment is over. Hux tries to pretend that he's fine with that. He won.

-but his victory is bitter.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I've forgotten how to write... For some reason, I feel like my stories changed and now they are much worse than before. Maybe it's just a feeling and I am making it up but I am honestly afraid that I am no longer capable of writing anything good... :(


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